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Thirsty Thursday: Child Stars

Episode VII: The entrance of the child star to planet Panclog.

Pretty dope title, right? Wrong.  That is a subtitle.  Learn ya facts.

Brent and I (Jared Scot-with-1-T Sova) have decided that our next way to make the world a little better is to celebrate the child actors that we grew up with.  Aren’t we all just a little bit interested in how these little people survived the world of Hollywood.  More like Hollyweird, amiright?

Let’s get to the beautiful part of this lovely editorial. The part where two dudes talk about someone we think is cool and then pair them with a beer.  Trust me.  This is the coolest article you will read this week.  If not, call 913-648-8888 and complain.

Brent – Whom I would have a beer with – Danica McKellar

What would you do if I sang out of tune,

Would you stand up and walk out on me.

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,

And I’ll try not to sing out of key.

The dulcet tones of Joe Cocker’s voice belted out of the television as his cover of “With a Little Help from My Friends” provided the title music for “The Wonder Years”. Joe Cocker’s cover of this song is arguably better than the original. I get that those might be fighting words, but I believe it is one of those rare circumstances where the cover is better than the original. I would also argue that Guns & Roses cover of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” rivals Bob Dylan’s masterpiece, but I digress.

The opening lines of that song always brought enjoyment as the lead in to a television show that hit me right where I needed to be. “The Wonder Years”, debuting in 1988, was a coming of age story for the main protagonist, Kevin Arnold, and his friends, Winnie Cooper and Paul Pfeiffer. The show takes place during the years 1968 to 1973, with the main characters aging from 12 to 17.

What made the show great is how well the stories revealed what it felt like to be a teenager. The conflicts demonstrated on the show reflected reality and its difficulties, while remaining fun and entertaining. I am not sure how well the show would play now though. While the individual stories will always be relevant, we may now have too much distance from the setting those stories took place in. For instance, the overriding presence of Vietnam and the nation’s wide and varied reaction to it, or the rising “red scare” of the Soviet Union. Many other elements sit as a backdrop to the narrative but have a direct impact on the characterization of the show.

I would not mind having a beer with the portrayers of the three main protagonists of the show. However, for this article, I would specifically enjoy having a beer with Danica McKellar. Her portrayal of Winnie Cooper was at the beginning full of innocence growing into maturity throughout the show’s run. The bonds the characters developed, especially that of Winnie, clearly showed how difficult a friendship could be. More importantly, their bonds showed how friendships could survive and persevere, as long as the participants are willing to work through it.

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The real reason I would like to have a beer with Danica is that she has a degree in mathematics. I would therefore assume that she enjoys talking about it. It is not often that one finds another who likes to discuss the subject, requiring you to jump at the chance when it is available. I am certain that she is far more knowledgeable in the subject than I am considering she has written at least four books on the subject. Perhaps Danica penned the best title for any math book ever written, “Kiss My Math: Showing Pre-Algebra Who’s Boss.” Although, one of her other books, “Math Doesn’t Suck” is certainly a runner up. I ask you, who wouldn’t want to sit back on a nice cool afternoon discussing the area under a curve while sipping a bottle of suds?

The beer I would share with Danica is the Higher Math brew from Dogfish Head Craft Brewery.
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I cannot comment on how well it tastes as I am currently suffering from a fit of sobriety. This is all thanks to my doctor asking me to pop antibiotics as if they were Pez. The Dogfish website states that Higher Math is an American Strong Ale with an ABV of 17%. The site also sadly states that the beer is retired and no longer brewed. I suggest we all write to Dogfish and tell them to get back into math class and fix this problem.

Jared – Whom I Would Have  A Beer With – Tiffani Thiessen

Let’s go back to high school.  Bayside High to be specific.  We will find your favorite group of friends rooting for the Tigers.  Zack, Screech, Lisa, Jesse, AC, Kelly and You.

Saved By The Bell was the joy of my childhood.  I learned so much of what to expect for when I went to high school. Most of the plot lines came true in my life.  One of my best friends got hooked on caffeine pills.  I made of my best friends cross-dress to sneak into the girls locker room. My friends and I saved our local hangout from a financial collapse. Oh we also made a band, Ophelia & The Tots. I would definitely say that my life was influenced by Saved By The Bell.

Can you sit in a backwards chair and not feel super cool? AC Slater started that.  Thank him!

I could probably go on and on about my love of Saved By The Bell.  I could also chat about how much I enjoyed The College Years. I must choose someone I would like to share a cold one with.  I could almost guarantee that Dennis Haskins AKA Mr. Belding could put some back. I have chosen my very first crush, Tiffani Thiessen.

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Tiffani has not only played Kelly Kapowski. She has been a recurring character in my favorite show on USA, White Collar.  I know you think I am underrating great shows like Burn Notice and Suits, but trust me I have put some serious thought into this.  Mozzie could be my spirit animal.  Matt Bomer is the dreamest of boats. Don’t believe me? Check out Magic Mike XXL. The first one was garbage, IMO.

Back on track. back to Tiffani Thiessen. Tiffani is now hosting her own cooking show on the Cooking Channel.  It is called Dinner at Tiffani’s.  If you know anything about chefs and about the character she portrayed in White Collar, you could deduce that Tiffani would be a wine drinker.  So I chose a beer that I believe would be delightful for any wine drinker.   Cider Block French Cider by Cinder Block Brewery in North Kansas City.

This French cider has some very intriguing white wine notes.  It is dryer than other ciders that I have sampled in my day.  At a 5% ABV, Tiffani and I could drink a couple and discuss cooking, growing up while on television, and about weather this is the best cider that she has ever laid lips upon.

Check out Tiffani Thiessen’s website and watch her cook food.  She’s pretty darn good.

Who would you like to have a beer with? What beer would you drink with them?

Let us know at our Twitters: Panclog, Jared, and Brent.

Thirsty Thursday: Authors

Welcome to Panclog’s Thirsty Thursday Episode III: Return of the writing about people we want to have a beer with.  It is a long name,  but I really believe in a title that makes sure you know what you are getting into.

This was a fun week for the Panclog crew.  We released the latest review on Tuesday. It was all about The Wooden Spoon.  Make sure you check that out if you have not yet.  Thursdays are a fun time for us. We love to chat about new beers and amazing people that would be fun to hang out with.

Let us get into it. Enjoy.

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BRENTLES – Whom I would have a beer with – Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore is one of only a couple authors writing today that I actively seek out and purchase sight unseen. He currently has 15.5 published novels all of which I have read and own. (Well except for that 0.5 which is a reprint of “The Stupidest Angel” that has some extra content). I so enjoy his books that I have read each multiple times and recommend them to others.
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His work is comedic, paced evenly, with lots of action, and is well researched. Most of his novels touch on the horror genre, although I would not characterize them as scary. There are moments in his books that seem fresh and new and can only be described as delightfully weird. One example is the god of a cargo cult being unable to bluff Jesus in a game of poker.

Titles like “Bloodsucking Fiends, a Love Story”, “Island of the Sequined Love Nun”, “The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove”, and “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”, provide a clear picture of what the reader can expect in the pages. Christopher’s books have consistently given me over to audible laughter, and sometimes true shock; which has caused me to stop reading and set the book aside because I was wholly unprepared for what happened on the pages. “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” even inspired me to write a college paper on cargo cults for a religion class.

I was introduced to Christopher Moore’s book  21 years ago by a gentleman named My Friend Mike. My Friend Mike is an interesting cat to whom I am eternally grateful, and indebted to for letting me borrow “Bloodsucking Fiends”. I remember starting the book with very low expectations as most books about vampires just aren’t good (Bram Stroker’s excluded). From the first chapter I realized I was reading something truly unique. After burning through “Bloodsucking Fiends”, I moved on to the other two books available at the time, “Coyote Blue”, and “Practical Demonkeeping”. Both were just as interesting and fun to read. Subsequent books have delivered on his unique style.

Mr. Moore has consistently turned out books every 1 to 3 years since 1992. Which makes me think we should be due another one in 2017. Some of the content in his books can be challenging so I have always recommended reading “Bloodsucking Fiends” first as it seems to have the lightest content overall. However, with the release of “A Dirty Job” in 2006, I changed that advice.

“A Dirty Job” is probably my favorite book that he has written. The book is entertaining and heartfelt throughout, while avoiding being overly sentimental. The book also possesses all of Moore’s trademarks and, in my opinion, executes those trademarks most effectively. If you haven’t read any of his books, this is the one to start with.
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The beer that I would like pair up with him is a sour beer from Boulevard Brewing Co called Love Child. Details from their website concerning Love Child No. 7 suggest it is a return to a Flanders-style red base beer. The beer does have a reddish color, along with a pungent aroma. The first sip is striking. The only way I can describe it is that it is like drinking a Warheads sour candy. Needless to say it is not for the faint of heart.
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Actually, the beer seems to soften with exposure to air and the initial tartness begins to wane. That or you just get used to it. Once the flavor has softened though, the beer is good, albeit, it doesn’t taste like one. The reason that I would like to share the Love Child No. 7 with Christopher Moore is that the beer brings an experience that is unexpected, just like Moore’s novels. It would be nice to chat with Mr. Moore over this beverage and discuss his books and the art of writing.

JARED – Author I want to have a beer with – Chuck Palahniuk

I am not known as a savvy reader.  I very rarely find myself entrenched in a book.  This is a trait of my impatience to sit in silence and enjoy some paper in my hands.  There is only one author that has kept my attention through many books.  This author would be Chuck Palahniuk. Choosing Chuck Palahniuk was not a tough decision in the slightest.  He is a different type of author than I have ever experienced. He builds characters and worlds that are nearly seamless.
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If you only know Chuck’s name because of Fight Club. I must tell you that you are only at the beginning of his works.  He has written so much more than the epic Tyler Durden.  He has written 18 novels and many other pieces of short fiction stories and even a couple of non-fiction books. I have been a big fan of Chuck ever since one of my Omahomies, Cori, gave me a copy of Survivor to read.  Oh you want to know what the fudge an Omahomie is? It is what I call my friends from the city of Omaha, NE.  Yeah I try to be cool and original. Cori and I wrote literal letters to each other about Chuck. I can not thank Cori enough for introducing me into an author that opened up more literature.

Survivor is about the last surviving member of a cult that committed mass suicide. Dark? You bet. It is more than a simple dark story.  It talks about pop culture and how our media loves tragedy. Chuck does an incredible job getting into the head of the antihero.

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Chuck Palahniuk recently released a sequel of Fight Club as a graphic novel. He wrote it with some of the greatest comic writers of the day. And the art was brilliantly done by Cameron Stewart. This novel was released in 10 issues through Dark Horse Comics.  This was a big deal for me.  I am a big fan of comics. So when you put my favorite author with one of my favorite hobbies, I become ecstatic. Fight Club 2 is awesome. Come on over and we can read them together like when we were 8.  Yeah I am talking to you.  Come over.    I implore you to try to find any work of Chuck’s and sit down and enjoy.

I have chosen to share Dogfish Head’s Palo Santo Marron. I chose this beer because it is strong, dark, and interesting. Just like Chuck Palahniuk’s books.

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Palo Santo Marron is described as an unfiltered, unfettered, unprecedented brown ale aged in handmade Palo Santo brewing vessels.  This beer comes in at 12% ABV.  It has amazing vanilla and caramel noted from the wood. Palo Santo is an exotic wood from Paraguay.  It adds a lovely tone and smoothness to the beer. Wood is awesome.

Dogfish Head is one of my top 5 breweries I know. They are known to constantly challenge the rules of beer. Like what ingredients are allowed, or can they even compete with Big Beer? They even released a beer with  scrapple in it. That’s a pork product! WHAT!?

Just like Dogfish Head, Chuck Palahniuk changes the game by writing a coloring book.  Yeah. Short stories with amazing pictures that you get to color. Yeah an adult coloring book with stories.  How cool is that? Answer: VERY COOL.

I would love to discuss everything under the sun with Chuck over a nice cool Palo Santo Marron. I think with a nice beer, the conversation comes easier than honey from the bottle on a hot summer day.

Who would you like to have a beer with? What beer would you drink with them?

Let us know at our Twitters: Panclog, Jared, and Brent.

CHEERS!

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